Err Reptile Dysfunction
Our playthrough of the first Baldurs Gate + expansion is almost complete. Problem is, all our progress has now been jeopardized by the impending release of other games. First off, theres the expansion for Diablo 3, which comes out Monday night. Fortunately for us, the good folks at Blizzard have made sure theres only enough new content to warrant an extra 5 or so hours of extra play time. Now theres some value for money! Its not like the expansion costs twice as much as the original game by now or anything. *coughs*
TESO starts next Sunday. Meanwhile, Im supposed to write more articles and columns for work. And I cant slack off on TESO, because someones gonna have to write all those quality guides on how to play that shit. So I gotta level up at a decent pace or else I wont be able to contribute and the publishers gonna be disappointed. Cant pull a Kevin Sorbo on that one.
You dipshit.
I should have said that the folks at the pet shelter told us hes a Rottweiler or something. The reaction is always the same, hilariously nonsensical one. "Is that thing real?"
What am I supposed to say to that? "Youre just stressed and we only exist in your imagination - quit your job, leave your family and travel the world while you still can!"
Or maybe, "Nope, hes inflatable."
Perhaps this, "Internet. Amazing what animatronics can do these days, huh?"
No matter how you look at it, asking if a huge animal, which quite obviously walks around, looks at you and flicks its tongue right in front of your nose is real, is simply a bit stupid. And perfectly natural, I suppose. Id imagine the train of thoughs to be something among the line of, "Holy shit, is that a crocodile? No, its too small for that. But its definitely a lizard. Is it a gecko? I dont even know what geckos are, I only know chameleons and this is definitely not a chameleon." My guess is the brain isnt quite done processing by the time they form the question. Is that thing an alligator/gecko/lizard? All these options are stupid and embarassing and lacking anything substantial to fill the gap, the next best thing people come up with is "real", apparently. Is that thing real. As in, is that thing really whatever the fuck it is? What the hell is that? Which, by the way, is the winning question here, but most people are too confused to come up with it.
Unfortunately, we dont have the room to provide Hugo with a vivarium the size he deserves. He can climb, sleep, bask and eat inside the little cube hes got, but aside from that we just share the house with him. Hell leave and climb back into his tank as he pleases and spends the rest of his time outside with us. Everyone is happy with that. Well, except our cats, maybe, who dont trust him at all. Cant blame em.
-Cat
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